Discovering my own back yard

Okay not literally. I've been in my backyard, I know the garden, the rodents, the way the sun sets behind the trees. What I am discovering are the little gems my city has to offer. I have decided that at least once each week, I'll get in my car at lunchtime and pick up a meal at a place I have never been to before.

Yesterday's pic was Ronin's- a little Italian market down on Winthrop Street in Springfield. I orginally planned to pick up a canolli from La Fiorentina but then I saw a little sign that said "handmade panini's" I LOVE panini's. So I walked to the back of the building and went inside. Ronin's is a little place, but it's packed with lots of stuff you normally wouldn't find in a deli- like handmade pastas, king crab legs and calamari salad. I ordered the Chicken Parm panini with shredded cheese and lemon juice. It was DELICIOUS! And only $8 for the sandwich and the drink. So next time YOU are downtown and you want to meet at Ronin's- call a sista up and I'll meet you there!

So today is Sept. 11 and of course there will be a whole day of memorials on TV, honoring the people we lost in the attacks. I remember Sept. 11, 2001 like it was yesterday...I was working for the Urban League, I was newly married, and I watched the whole morning unfold on TV. I remember the people jumping from the windows to escape the fire, the people wandering aimlessly through the streets of NYC. It was a day I will never forget. And today I will pray for the people who are missing their loved ones today.

And of course it is raining today but guess who is in town? MICHAEL JORDAN! How awesome is that? I'm trying to figure out a way where I can get into the Hall of Fame so I can see him in person! But I don't have $700 for the ticket. Booooooooo.

So anyway, it's my last weekend before school starts again, and I don't have a whole lot going on (which is good!) I do have to officiate a wedding in the Berkshires tomorrow night and I'm checking out a new member info night at the church I've been going to for the past few months. We shall see how that turns out :-)

Hope you all have an awesome weekend :-)

I am a Michelle Obama!

The below text was totally stolen from Iammichelleobama.com

Welcome to I AM a MICHELLE OBAMA.com!!

Michelle Obama has changed the ideal of what it means to be an American woman. She represents a new concept of First Lady; an accomplished career woman, a wife, mother and proud African-American. She is a role model that women of all races can be proud to call their own!

Tell the world YOU embody the same dignity, grace and self-respect as America's First Lady! (Oh. One more thing. This tee shirt gets attention from potential "Barack"'s like you wouldn't believe! We get stopped every time we wear it!)

Made from 100% cotton, this incredibly comfortable black cotton tee proudly displays I AM a MICHELLE OBAMA on the front and YOU ARE a MICHELLE OBAMA on the back.

BUY IT NOW!

The Practice of Patience- also a new location

Most days I am good. I can usually steady a temper that may be swelling up from the floorboards before it becomes full blown. But man, it seems like the days I crave silence are the days my family chooses to be the loudest- the days the children next door decide to spend every waking moment on the swingset and also the days my son decides to record all day long.

But I am thankful for the hustle and bustle and would probably lose it if suddenly my life was quiet. Quiet means lonely, lonely means alone. I never want to be the woman without anyone, I always want to be a wife and Mama, and I am thankful for the tribe God has chosen me to be the chief of.

Now, If I could only get them to pick up their socks.

I am excited to be spending Christmas in Tennessee again this year but I am also trying to plan a birthday getaway for my birthday- where should I go?

Brown girl at lunch

In all, there were seven children- aged 1- 12. The mother looked exhausted, her wrinkled sweatshirt stained from dishing food for all of the children. The children were all blond haired/ blue eyed, except for one- the only brown girl in the bunch. As her siblings gobbled up their food she turned her chair to face me, and watched me as I ate.

This happens to me often- small children, babies even stray dogs (!!!!!) will gravitate toward me. I don’t know why, I mean- I love children (dogs too) but it is always strange when they come to me and they don’t even know me.

We kept making eye contact- she would smile- she was no older than 3 or 4. Her mixed heritage hair (like mine) was a whirlwind of nappy curls, piled atop her head by a mother who obviously didn’t know what to do with it. (I’m sure pink moisturizer is not even in her vocabulary- and Juices and Berries SHOULD BE.) When I looked at the rest of her children I had to wonder what happened with the little brown girl? 3 older children and three younger children were white and the middle child was obviously mixed with black or hispanic. I didn’t want to keep staring so I looked away but every time I looked up, the little brown girl was looking at me.

When it was time for them to go, the mothers gathered the children- and the little brown girl walked away, looking back at me the entire time. Perhaps she was an old soul, who knows? I just know- that being the only brown girl in a family of blonds- she certainly does not have an easy road ahead of her.

Yes, I am praying for Maia

Yes, I watched the video. Twice. At first I was not completely sure it was her- I mean, it looked like her but it sure didn’t SOUND like her. She sounded A LOT like Whitney Houston on her worst day.

I know her history, I’ve read all of her Mama’s books, I watched every episode of In the House. (SO WHAT if I was watching it just to look at LL! LOL!) I think I remember even hearing a song she recorded. So you can imagine how heartbroken I was to see her like that. There are other videos online with her half naked singing for some guy. There are other men in the room too. And when I watched it, all I could do is think about people who are close to me who also struggle with mental illness every single day. It’s not funny, not even a little bit.

So I’ll step down from my soapbox but before i do that, I second the challenge issued by The Black Snob to STOP the nasty rumors and repostig of the video. Let it go. Instead, channel your energy to pray for Maia and her family. Mental illness is NEVER funny, and until it happens to someone you love, you probably won’t even know what I mean.

In other news, I would like to thank my beloved for sharing his cold with me- I have been sneezing all day long, slight fever brewing and zero energy. I really want some Allens Brandy to feel better, but I know I’ll just end up drunk and that probably wouldn’t be the best thing. It’s a long weekend, I hope to go to the beach tomorrow for one last Hoorah! I also got my new phone today and it is cute as a button. I have no idea how to use it though- I’m sure I’ll have it figured out by the end of the night.

Hope all my readers are doing well and feeling good and ready for some sun and fun this weekend!

The ALMOST bible study

So while on FB earlier, I read that one of my friends was going to Bible Study. I think I mentioned on here before that I am really hungry to learn the bible. Like, all of it. So any Bible Study I can attend on a regular basis would be pretty dope. So anyway I rushed around, cooked dinner for my tribe, threw on some flip flops and was on my way out the door when my cell phone rings with another friend saying it actually starts NEXT week.

So here I am, it’s a little before 7, my beloved is not home and I think I may be coming down with a cold. For real? Really? A cold? Anyway, I’m going to do my usual Airborne Pixies treatment and pray it chases it away.

I started a new poem today called “steady.” It’s not what you think it’s about.

Do you believe in Kindred Spirits? Have you ever met anyone you felt you had met before? Or someone you connected with on a different level? I’m not talking sexual here, folks, I’m talking about something even deeper than that. ANYONE can roll around on a rented bed but I think it’s cool to meet someone to “build” with.

So anyway, since it’s quiet in my home tonight, perhaps I’ll just chill out and read for the evening. I have not started TSOBF yet for book club and since I sent out the email on Sunday asking “Have you started reading yet” I better get moving!

Ciao!

43 things

Bear with me and any misspellings that will most certainly flow throughout this blog- as I am now posting from my phone. :-) Today’s Bible study is the book of Ezekial- chapter 1. Hello? What in the love of Ray J are these creatures? Four faces? Lion/Eagle\ Ox and man? And giant wheels with eyes? If someone could let me know what this means, I would owe you big. The eating plan is better today- all fresh veggies for lunch although I am almost positive a bowl of ice cream will make an appearance before day’s end. It’s my son’s first day of 10th grade so I was thinking about taking him out for a celebration dinner. Pray that he is having a good day! As for my book, I finally have the chapters named and now I just have to move the poems into the right area. Yesterday I was inspired to write about stillness- calm- peace. Ever noticed a performer (of any sort) as they prepare to speak/ perform? Often times they will pace (if there is room) or they will kind of fold into themselves and prepare. Imediately following the performance there is a sort of ‘retreat’- most of the time the general public does not have the pleasure of seeing this, because once they have left the mic they go backstage, or someplace else. But if the person ever remains visible, notice how beautiful they are- exhausted, relieved, happy. You will see this in musicians, singers, poets, politicians, preachers, etc. I am performing in the next couple of weeks and also preparing for my Oct. 27 release of my book ‘enormous things’ I have requested quotes from friends for the cover but no one single person has responded- so u know me, my alter ego is KIM+ Keep it Movin! It’s gonna be dope even if I don’t have one single ‘well known’ person to big it up. AllI can control is myself and my own actions, you know? So anyhoo, I’m outta here for now, hope you’re all having am awesome day!

Feminista

Synopsis (totally stolen from Amazon.com)

Sydney Zamora is fiercely independent, aggressively opinionated, and utterly self-made. She’s reshaped her body (into the perfect sample-sale outfitted size 6, thank you very much), organized a life for herself as a celebrity journalist at hot magazine Cachet, and strides through the canyons of New York City like she owns them. There’s just one problem: Sydney is so strong that she plays keep-away with men. But now that she’s hitting her midthirties, she wants one. Badly. For her birthday, Sydney’s sister ambushes her with the services of Mitzi Berman, $40,000 a shot Manhattan matchmaker extraordinaire. Mitzi also has her eyes on Max Cooper, the scion of Harvey’s department store, the chicest place to shop in America. And nothing could make either Sydney or Max Cooper run faster than Mitzi, with her rules and her Brooklyn accent—that is, if they didn’t concede her a point or two. Peopled with vivid, hilarious characters, Feminista is fast-moving fiction whose themes of independence, image and the com pli - cated relationship between the sexes in the working world recall the best of Rona Jaffe.

Okay, stop reading my blog and BUY IT!

Oh wait! Before you go, why don’t you tweet about it too! Follow Erica at @feminista09.

Use the hashtag #feminista on posts that are book-related or just “feminista” in nature i.e. got those great shoes on sale or “did you read that great post by Rebecca Walker”. (Igonore the espanol tweets, not us.)

And here’s a super-special, under-140 tweet you can use as your status on Twitter- you can also use it on FB.

There’s chick lit and now there’s BITCH lit. http://tinyurl.com/feministabook are you a #feminista?

Let’s get it poppin!

The end of a dream

Sadly, I have let go of one of my dreams. I saw a quote once that said if you keep swinging at the same ball over and over and over, stop swinging. And that’s what I’m going to do! I can’t blame anyone else- I don’t have the resources right now to make it happen so instead of spinning my wheels, I need to back away from it for now.

I have prioritized what is important to me, what will benefit me and the ones I love, and it is no longer a priority. I have to focus on being the best Mama I can to my 16 year old, he’s starting a new high school and is totally bummed about it, and I also have to focus on my new year of school. Double the courseload in the same amount of time. When I look at my list of must-do’s, music is not on the list. Poetry is, as is my book, readings, etc. But the cd, as much as I want it, is not going to happen.

I have to look at the bright side: I have released 3 cd’s. I’ve received numerous nominations and won awards for my songwriting. People will always be able to buy my music on ITUNES. How many people can say that? :-)

Anyway, I’m looking forward to a busy week with the start of school and Labor Day weekend. We have to put some stuff on the grill this weekend because before you know it, it’ll be winter and the snow will be here!

A day unplugged

I was supposed to spend most of my day elbow deep in cupcake batter, baking with one of my littlest bakers. But due to scheduling conflicts, I now have the day to get my house in order. Which means I am going to ::attempt:: to stay offline today.

Oh, who am I kidding?? You know I’ll be back on later, once my work is done! HOLLER!

nagnagnag who me?

Behind every good man there’s a woman rolling her eyes. I can never remember who said that, but boy is it true! I have reduced my “nagging spirit” tremendously over the past few months, but every now and then- it returns.

But it’s never about unnecessary things. It may be as simple as me asking for help with the dishes. Or laundry. Or one of the other hundreds of chores I do on a weekly basis without a thank you. I am happy to assume the role of the “wife” and “domestic goddess”- keeping things tidy and taking care of the household stuff. But sometimes I just want to come home, pour a glass of iced tea and just chill. That never happens.

Now that school is starting up again for my son, I know my schedule is going to be even busier than ever. He’ll be entering 10^th grade, and as usual I will serve on the school PTA. This is a new school, so I am a little concerned with the make-up of the PTA, teachers, etc. But the chameleon that I am, I know I will assimilate and make it work. I’ll probably have to do a great deal of biting my tongue but that’s okay- I need practice with that anyway J

So what’s next? Oh, my Bible studies. Boy. I still need some help! The Bible in a year prompts I’m getting via Twitter are very helpful but I still feel like I need more. Like anything else that is new to me, it takes me awhile to figure out the ins and outs of it, and then I just take off! I’m waiting for that to happen. In September I am planning to join one of the Sunday School classes at church and I’m sure it will help. Now that I have been dragging myself out of bed earlier enough to attend the first service, there is no reason why I cannot stay an extra hour. None at all.

My Mom is doing better each and every day and I am so happy about that. She will be moving up here in the coming months and I will now begin the process of promoting her art again. I managed it awhile back and it did well, so I’ll do the same thing- only better. I’ll exhibit her work at Organix Soul in Oct.- so I have quite a bit to do before then- getting affordable prints made, postcards and other inexpensive pieces. Money is TIGHT for most people but MOST people enjoy artwork. So the key is to make it accessible to everyone.

So I guess that’s it for today. Pretty smooth weekend- meeting with one of my Sept. couples today, baking cupcakes with Sara tomorrow early afternoon and school shopping tomorrow night with my teenager. With his budget he’ll probably buy 2 pairs of fifty dollar jeans and a sixty dollar hoodie. In MY day I could get 5 outfits for $200. I just sounded 100 years old, didn’t I?

hello, I am an addict

I blame strawberry shortcake. the doll, not the cake. she smelled like strawberries- she had a black girl who rolled with her everywhere she went (was her name blueberry? I don’t remember. Anyhoo, I wanted everything Strawberry Shortcake- the dolls, toys, shirts, you name it. I had nothing in common with her- she was white, with freckles and red hair and a great big ‘ol hat (not like now- has anyone noticed how much she’s changed?) She rolled with a bunch of off-beat people who all smelled like fruit and were constantly running from this mean man dressed in black, who also had a bad case of osteoperosis. What was his name? No clue. But since then I have loved to collect things and over the years my addiction has been for everything you could imagine, from ladybug novelties to plus size figurines. Yes they make them.

Anyhoo, where am I going with this? Who knows! But I do know one thing- I danced my notsolittle legs off tonigh at dance class and a mosquito had himself a feast. I should have charged him 9.95 because homeboy will surely be full for a few days.

Oh, I remember now! I am trying to break my addiction to collecting things- so I have added it to my 43things list. Wish me luck!

The messy, messy genius?

I have always been an excellent procrastinator. An expert, actually, with lots and lots of things to keep me from the things I should be doing. This would be all well and good if the things I neglected didn’t stress me in the wee hours of the morning. But they do- often I awaken at 5 a.m. to pee or to let my dog out and all I can think about is the laundry that so desperately needs to be done. Or the cabinets that look like a bomb has been detonated inside of them. Or the piles of paperwork that need to be shredded or burned.

My mother says I have always been this way- messy, 100 projects going at once a sort of maniac. I agree. But I think that’s also what makes me ME, the wonderfully creative girl who can scrapbook a decorated cake and sing about it. My BFF jokes about this, but it’s true, and I wouldn’t trade my genetic makeup with anyone else on the planet. I meet other mothers who seem to have it all together- in their minivans with their tennis visors and mounds of children. They sit together during the football games and school plays, exchanging crockpot recipes and planning the next cookie swap. I have no interest in these activities. While I wait for my son, I am usually writing, or reading or studying. They call me antisocial but I call them lunatics- so it evens out I guess.

When I decided to return to school, my beloved backed me 100 percent. He understood when suddenly, the kitchen table became home to piles of textbooks and even more piles of paper. He maneuvers through our living room like a pro now, dodging half-done projects that have been abandoned for the next “big thing.” I have taken classes to learn how to decorate cakes, knit, crochet, watercolor/ pastel paint, do yoga, Zumba and line dance. I am always looking for what I am going to be when I grow up. While most of my friends have one job and are happy to come home to care for their families, I feel like I am always on the run from something called “normalcy.”

I am sure one day I will be happy to settle down and do what “good housewives” do. I’ll sit with the other mother’s during our children’s activities and share my own tip for removing stains from my husband’s polo shirts (as soon as he actually BUYS a polo shirt.) But until that day (which will probably be the same day I completely lose my mind) I will continue to be the off-beat artist Mama, toting a journal in place of a household budget book.

Oh I have so far to go

So this is officially 60 days in my new quest for a new Spiritual me. This is hard because goodness, I have been challenged and thrown to the ground, questioned and pushed, but I’m still standing. And learning.

At first I was ashamed to admit how much I didn’t know the Bible. How do you go to church every Sunday and Wed- sometimes more than that- for your entire childhood and not know at least ONE bible story? Maybe that’s not important- maybe having a good heart is- but I know God wants me to know him fully and I want to too.

I have been going to church every Sunday, I think I may have found my church home. It reminds me a lot of my great grandmother’s church, with the exception of one thing: I have yet to see a woman in a leadership role. They fit in just fine in the nursery and food closet, quilting and scrapbooking, but to date not one single woman has stepped into the pulpit to give her thoughts.

Now this probably bothers me mostly because my great grandmother was a minister. She didn’t care what you thought of her, and when she didn’t get “promoted” to pastor within her church home, she started her own church! That’s just how she got down. Her name was Frankie Senter. And I’m not saying I would ever even WANT to be in a leadership role there (or any other church) but I would like to know I have that option.

There is a new member class on Sept. 13 and after that, I’ll make my decision. Who knows what I will decide to do, I may even spread out and visit other churches before I make my final decision. But I really, really like the pastor there. He is more of a teacher, he provides a printed worksheet to fill in as he delivers his message. I’m a visual girl, I have to be able to look it up and write it down before it even registers in my brain. I’m not knocking the traditional preachers (my father is one)- it’s just that in this time in my life, I don’t have a lot of time to try to “figure out” what the take-away message is. With this pastor I leave with it in black and white.

My beloved and I spent the entire week doing daytrips. This is the first time in 12 years that we have ever spent the whole week together. It was a lot of fun! We went to the beach, to the Berkshire Mountains and shopping at the Lee Outlets. We had burritos at Mass Moca in North Adams and moose track ice cream in Shelburne Falls. We walked the bridge of flowers and watched the pothole glaciers. It was so much fun! It was like we rediscovered eachother and why we fell in love in the first place!

So anyhoo, I’ll try to update this at least weekly just to keep myself accountable on my 43things list If you have a list, link it here.

Hope you all have an awesome week!